Parents Need to
get a Grip
The popularity of the GAA, and the absolute
obsession which modern parents have for the advancement of their children, has
created an underage environment that can only be described as
ugly
Paddy Heaney “Against the Breeze” Irish News
4th October 2011
I know it’s feeble, but I recently drew immense
satisfaction from the revelation that myself and Colm ‘the Gooch’ Cooper come
from a similar footballing background. Apparently ‘the Gooch’ was completely
starved of success when he played underage football for Dr Croke’s. I, too, have
trod that weary path. For three years I played on an U12 team that managed one
victory per season. After a succession of hammerings, we always looked forward
to meeting the one side that was actually worse than us. Did we show them the
pity that was spared us? Did we take it easy on them? Did we hell. We
slaughtered them and sang songs about our heroic performance on the way home.
But underage football was different back then. Our weekly
annihilations on a Saturday morning didn’t mean that much as our matches were
played in empty grounds. Neither the winners nor the losers drew a crowd. There
was no humiliation as no-one really cared that much. It’s all changed now as the
sidelines are jam-packed with the mammies and daddies who attend every game.
I’m not exactly sure why or when this change in culture took place. It’s true
the GAA has become much more fashionable. Parents can also devote more time to
their offspring as families have become much smaller. Five or six children used
to be fairly average. In fact, when I was growing up, a two-child family marked
you out as being either: 1) wealthy; 2) a Protestant; or 3) a wealthy
Protestant.
Today, the situation is reversed as it’s only the well-heeled who can afford
to have a house full of weans. In the prosperous areas of Belfast, the
traditional status symbol among well-to-do Catholics has been replaced. It used
to be Beemer/Merc or a holiday home in Donegal. Now, it’s the fourth child as
only the super affluent can afford to fund that many through university.
The
youngest of seven, Colm Cooper wasn’t a child of the status symbol variety. The
Coopers lived in a housing estate in Killarney. Given that there were six others
in the brood, I’d doubt if Colm Cooper’s parents got to be cheerleaders at many
of his games. The Gooch’s ability with a football doesn’t seemed to have
suffered unduly, and therein lies an important message for the hundreds of
modern parents who are behaving like complete maniacs at their children’s U10
blitzes.
The popularity of the GAA, and the absolute obsession which modern parents
have for the advancement of their children, has created an underage environment
that can only be described as ugly. A friend told me about a recent game that
almost came to blows after a parent accused a member of the opposition team of
play-acting. “Get up, there is nothing wrong with you,” he roared at the
eight-year-old child. I was talking to another GAA clubman last week who told me
his club invited a guest speaker to address the underage teams. The main theme
was discipline. The parents were also asked to attend, because as the clubman
informed me, the presentation was really for the benefit of the adults.
Parents who scream abuse and criticise the club’s own players have become a
major problem at underage games. Given the aforementioned scenarios that have
just been described, I’m glad we played in a less stressful environment. With no
expectations, no pressure, and no ridicule, it was still a fairly enjoyable
experience. Apart from suffering from an absence of old-fashioned parenting
skills, the modern parent also lacks some basic gumption. All the guldering in
the world isn’t going to make an iota of difference to how their boy develops as
a footballer.
The basic but unspoken assumption made by most parents is that if their child
plays for a winning team then it increases their chances of being a successful
footballer. This is bunkum. Exhibit B is Peter Canavan, who didn’t play any
competitive underage football. Ballygawley were suspended from all competitions
during Canavan’s early career. Colm Cooper. Peter Canavan. What further proof is
required?
Of course, the biggest misconception of all is that good footballers produce
good footballers. This theory can still explain much of the unseemly behaviour
that is taking place at underage games. Fortunately, I received sound
instruction on this subject when I watched a game in the company of a former
Derry player. A strong, uncompromising footballer who would have run through a
wall, his son was playing at full-forward. When the son received his first ball,
he promptly turned and kicked the ball over the bar with his right foot. A few
minutes later, the boy received a carbon copy pass. This time, he shaped to kick
with his right, but just as the full-back committed himself to blocking the
shot, the son promptly turned and kicked an easy point with his left foot. It
was very slick, very tidy, very controlled – a million miles away from the type
of football which my companion on the terrace used to play. “Not much of the
auld boy in your young fella,” I ventured. “Well, you know what the greyhound
men say Paddy,” he replied. “No, I don’t,” I confessed. I was then informed that
“80 per cent of the breeding is in the bitch”. Lesson over, the father continued
to watch the game; chatting, joking, and constantly suppressing the urge to
shout advice towards the 20 per cent of him that was on the edge of the square.
It’s an example worth following.